Self-Concept and Self-Esteem

Citation: Huitt, W. (2004). Self-concept and self-esteem. Educational Psychology Interactive. Valdosta, GA: Valdosta State University. Retrieved [date], from http://chiron.valdosta.edu/whuitt/col/regsys/self.html

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By self, we generally mean the conscious reflection of one's own being or identity, as an object separate from other or from the environment. There are a variety of ways to think about the self. Two of the most widely used terms are self-concept and self-esteem. Self-concept is the cognitive or thinking aspect of self (related to one's self-image) and generally refers to

"the totality of a complex, organized, and dynamic system of learned beliefs, attitudes and opinions that each person holds to be true about his or her personal existence" (Purkey, 1988).

Self-esteem is the affective or emotional aspect of self and generally refers to how we feel about or how we value ourselves (one's self-worth). Self-concept can also refer to the general idea we have of ourselves and self-esteem can refer to particular measures about components of self-concept. Some authors even use the two terms interchangeably.

Franken (1994) states that

"there is a great deal of research which shows that the self-concept is, perhaps, the basis for all motivated behavior. It is the self-concept that gives rise to possible selves, and it is possible selves that create the motivation for behavior" (p. 443).

This supports the idea that one's paradigm or world view and one's relationship to that view provide the boundaries and circumstances within which we develop our vision about possibilities. This is one of the major issues facing children and youth today (Huitt, 2004).

Franken (1994) suggests that self-concept is related to self-esteem in that

"people who have good self-esteem have a clearly differentiated self-concept.... When people know themselves they can maximize outcomes because they know what they can and cannot do" (p. 439).

It would seem, then, that one way to impact self-esteem is to obey the somewhat outworn cliche of "Know thyself."

We develop and maintain our self-concept through the process of taking action and then reflecting on what we have done and what others tell us about what we have done. We reflect on what we have done and can do in comparison to our expectations and the expectations of others and to the characteristics and accomplishments of others (Brigham, 1986; James, 1890). That is, self-concept is not innate, but is developed or constructed by the individual through interaction with the environment and reflecting on that interaction. This dynamic aspect of self-concept (and, by corollary, self-esteem) is important because it indicates that it can be modified or changed. Franken (1994) states

"there is a growing body of research which indicates that it is possible to change the self-concept. Self-change is not something that people can will but rather it depends on the process of self-reflection. Through self-reflection, people often come to view themselves in a new, more powerful way, and it is through this new, more powerful way of viewing the self that people can develop possible selves" (p. 443).

There are a several different components of self-concept: physical, academic, social, and transpersonal. The physical aspect of self-concept relates to that which is concrete: what we look like, our sex, height, weight, etc.; what kind of clothes we wear; what kind of car we drive; what kind of home we live in; and so forth. Our academic self-concept relates to how well we do in school or how well we learn. There are two levels: a general academic self-concept of how good we are overall and a set of specific content-related self-concepts that describe how good we are in math, science, language arts, social science, etc. The social self-concept describes how we relate to other people and the transpersonal self-concept describes how we relate to the supernatural or unknowns.

Marsh (1992) showed that the relationship of self-concept to school achievement is very specific. General self-concept and non-academic aspects of self-concept are not related to academic work; general academic achievement measures are related moderately to academic success. Specific measures of subject-related self-concepts are highly related to success in that content area.

Using linear discriminant analysis, Byrne (1990) showed that academic self-concept was more effective than was academic achievement in differentiating between low-track and high-track students. Hamachek (1995) also asserts that self-concept and school achievement and school achievement are related. The major issue is the direction of the relationship: does self-concept produce achievement or does achievement produce self-concept. Gage and Berliner (1992) state

"the evidence is accumulating, however, to indicate that level of school success, particularly over many years, predicts level of regard of self and one's own ability (Bridgeman & Shipman, 1978; Kifer, 1975); whereas level of self-esteem does not predict level of school achievement. The implication is that teachers need to concentrate on the academic successes and failures of their students. It is the student's history of success and failure that gives them the information with which to assess themselves" (p. 159).

If academic achievement leads to self-concept/self-esteem, but self-concept is a better predictor of being a low-track or high-track student, it would appear that there is some intervening variable. James (1890) states that the intervening variable is personal expectations. His formula is:

Self-esteem = Success / Pretensions.

That is, increasing self-esteem results when success is improved relative to expectations. Bandura (1997) states that one's self-efficacy is one of the best predictions of successful achievement. He also states that one's mastery experiences related to success is the major influence on one's self-efficacy. As self-efficacy and self-esteem are both constructed by one's conscious reflections, it would appear that educators and parents should provide experiences that students can master rather than attempting to boost self-esteem directly through other means.

An interesting corollary to this equation is that success is limited by expectations and self-esteem:

Success = Pretensions * Self-esteem.

This equation states that success, especially the limits of one's success, can be improved by increasing expectations and/or self-esteem. However, as noted by Gage and Berliner (1992), the research on the relationship between self-esteem/self-concept and school achievement suggests that measures of general or even academic self-concept are not significantly related to school achievement. It is at the level of very specific subjects (e.g., reading, mathematics, science) that there is a relationship between self-concept/self-esteem and academic success. Given the above formula, this suggests that success in a particular subject area is not really changing one's self-concept (knowledge of one's self) or even self-esteem (one's subjective evaluation of one's value or worth), but rather is impacting one's expecation about future success based on one's past experience.

Seligman's (1996) work on explanatory style suggests that the intervening variable connecting self-esteem and achievement is the student's level of "optimism" or the tendency to see the world as a benevolent (good things will probably happen) or malevolent (bad things will probably happen).

Some additional "self" terms are self-direction (Smith, 2004) and self-determination (Ryan & Deci, 2000; the extent to which one's aspirations, dreams, and goals are self-selected), self-regulation (Bandura, 1997; Behncke, 2003; one's guidance of one's goal-directed thinking, attitudes, and behavior), and self-transcendence (Polanyi, 1970; Frankl, 1963;  going beyond or above the limitations of one's ego; meaningful connections to others, nature, universe, Creator, etc.). My view is that we need to address all of these constructions in a holistic manner if we are to prepare our children and youth for successful adulthood (Huitt, 2004).

References

• Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: the exercise of control. New York: Freeman.
• Behncke, L. (2002). Self-regulation: A brief review. Athletic Insight, 14(1). Retrieved November 2004, from http://www.athleticinsight.com/Vol4Iss1/SelfRegulation.htm
• Brigham, J. (1986). Social psychology. Boston: Little, Brown & Co.
• Byrne, B. (1990). Self-concept and academic achievement: Investigating their importance as discriminators of academic track membership in high school. Canadian Journal of Education, 15(2), 173-182.
• Franken, R. (1994). Human motivation (3rd ed.). Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole Publishing Co.
• Frankl, V. (1963). (I. Lasch, Trans.). Man's search for meaning:  An introduction to logotherapy. New York: Washington Square Press
• Gage, N., & Berliner, D. (1992). Educational psychology (5th ed.). Boston: Houghton Mifflin.
• Hamachek, D. (1995). Self-concept and school achievement: Interaction dynamics and a tool for assessing the self-concept component. Journal of Counseling & Development, 73(4), 419-425.
• Huitt, W. (2004, October 29). Becoming a Brilliant Star: An introduction. Presentation at the Forum for Integrated Education and Educational Reform sponsored by the Council for Global Integrative Education, Santa Cruz, CA. Available on at http://chiron.valdosta.edu/whuitt/brilstar/chapters/BrilStarintro.pdf
• James, W. (1890). Principles of psychology. New York: Henry Holt.
• Marsh, H. (1992 ). The content specificity of relations between academic self-concept and achievement: An extension of the Marsh/Shavelson model. ERIC NO: ED349315.
• Polanyi, M. (1970). Transcendence and self-transcendence. Soundings, 53(1), 88-94. Retrieved November 2004, from http://www.compilerpress.atfreeweb.com/Anno%20Polanyi%20Transcendence%201970.htm
• Purkey, W. (1988). An overview of self-concept theory for counselors. ERIC Clearinghouse on Counseling and Personnel Services, Ann Arbor, Mich. (An ERIC/CAPS Digest: ED304630)
• Ryan, R., & Deci, E. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55, 68-78. Retrieved November 2004, from http://psych.rochester.edu/SDT/measures/documents/2000RyanDeciSDT.pdf
• Seligman, M. (1996) The optimistic child: How learned optimism protects children from depression. New York: Houghton Mifflin.
• Smith, M. (2004). Self-direction. The Encyclopedia of Informal Education. Retrieved November 2004, from http://www.infed.org/biblio/b-selfdr.htm

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The Child's Self Concept: OK or NOT OK

Author: Betsy Schenck, Extension Specialist, Retired, Virginia State University

Recommended by: Dr. Peggy O. Harrelson, Extension Specialist, Child Development, Virginia State University

Publication Number 350-661, September 1996

Table of Contents

How Can Adults Help?

Recommended Reading

The Child's Self-Concept Is the Way He Feels About Himself

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Visit Virginia Cooperative Extension

An Overview of Self-Concept Theory for Counselors

Reference: Purkey, W. (1988). An Overview of Self-Concept Theory for Counselors. ERIC Clearinghouse on Counseling and Personnel Services, Ann Arbor, Mich. (An ERIC/CAPS Digest: ED304630)

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After more than a decade of relative neglect, self-concept is enjoying renewed popularity and attention by both researchers and practitioners. There is growing awareness that of all the perceptions we experience in the course of living, none has more profound significance than the perceptions we hold regarding our own personal existence--our concept of who we are and how we fit into the world.

Self-concept may be defined as the totality of a complex, organized, and dynamic system of learned beliefs, attitudes and opinions that each person holds to be true about his or her personal existence. Self-concept is different from self-esteem (feelings of personal worth and level of satisfaction regarding one's self) or self-report (what a person is willing and able to disclose). Fromm (1956) was as beautifully clear as anyone when he described self-concept as "life being aware of itself."

Brief History of Self-Concept Theory

A milestone in human reflection about the non-physical inner self came in 1644, when Rene Descartes wrote Principles of Philosophy. Descartes proposed that doubt was a principal tool of disciplined inquiry, yet he could not doubt that he doubted. He reasoned that if he doubted, he was thinking, and therefore he must exist. Thus existence depended upon perception.

A second milestone in the development of self-concept theory was the writing of Sigmund Freud (1900) who gave us new understanding of the importance of internal mental processes. While Freud and many of his followers hesitated to make self-concept a primary psychological unit in their theories, Freud's daughter Anna (1946) gave central importance to ego development and self-interpretation.

Self-concept theory has always had a strong influence on the emerging profession of counseling. Prescott Lecky (1945) contributed the notion that self-consistency is a primary motivating force in human behavior. Raimy (1948) introduced measures of self-concept in counseling interviews and argued that psychotherapy is basically a process of altering the ways that individuals see themselves.

By far the most influential and eloquent voice in self-concept theory was that of Carl Rogers (1947) who introduced an entire system of helping built around the importance of the self. In Rogers' view, the self is the central ingredient in human personality and personal adjustment. Rogers described the self as a social product, developing out of interpersonal relationships and striving for consistency. He maintained that there is a basic human need for positive regard both from others and from oneself. He also believed that in every person there is a tendency towards self-actualization and development so long as this is permitted and encouraged by an inviting environment (Purkey & Schmidt, 1987).

While most self-concept theorists continued to write and conduct research during the 1970's and 1980's, general interest in self-concept declined. In a recent article explaining the likely causes for the decline of "humanistic" education, Patterson (1987) presents reasons for the decline of interest in self-concept as well. He offers four likely causes:

1. A cornucopia of contrived games, gimmicks, and techniques that were introduced and controlled by unprepared professionals.

2. A national mood of "back to basics" in education prevailed where concern for the emotional needs of students was viewed as inimical to academic excellence.

3. Poor judgment by counselors and teachers in selecting suitable materials for values clarification programs resulted in public opposition to any attempt to introduce values in school.

4. Strong opposition by those who objected to any consideration of personal development of students because they believed it to be secular humanism and, therefore, an effort to undermine religion.

Fortunately, there is a new awareness on the part of both the public and professionals that self-concept cannot be ignored if we are to successfully address such nagging problems as drug and alcohol abuse, drop-out rates, dysfunctional families, and other concerns. In addition to this growing awareness, new ways are being developed to strengthen self-concepts. For example, research by cognitive theorists (McAdam, 1986; Ryan, Short & Weed, 1986) are demonstrating that negative self-talk leads to irrational thinking regarding oneself and the world.

Some Basic Assumptions Regrading Self-Concept

Many of the successes and failures that people experience in many areas of life are closely related to the ways that they have learned to view themselves and their relationships with others. It is also becoming clear that self-concept has at least three major qualities of interest to counselors: (1) it is learned, (2) it is organized, and (3) it is dynamic. Each of these qualities, with corollaries, follow.

Self-concept is learned. As far as we know, no one is born with a self-concept. It gradually emerges in the early months of life and is shaped and reshaped through repeated perceived experiences, particularly with significant others. The fact that self-concept is learned has some important implications:

• Because self-concept does not appear to be instinctive, but is a social product developed through experience, it possesses relatively boundless potential for development and actualization.

• Because of previous experiences and present perceptions, individuals may perceive themselves in ways different from the ways others see them.

• Individuals perceive different aspects of themselves at different times with varying degrees of clarity. Therefore, inner focusing is avaluable tool for counseling.

• Any experience which is inconsistent with one's self-concept may be perceived as a threat, and the more of these experiences there are, the more rigidly self-concept is organized to maintain and protect itself. When a person is unable to get rid of perceived inconsistencies, emotional problems arise.

• Faulty thinking patterns, such as dichotomous reasoning (dividing everything in terms of opposites or extremes) or overgeneralizing (making sweeping conclusions based on little information) create negative interpretations of oneself.

Self-Concept is organized. Most researchers agree that self-concept has a generally stable quality that is characterized by orderliness and harmony. Each person maintains countless perceptions regarding one's personal existence, and each perception is orchestrated with all the others. It is this generally stable and organized quality of self-concept that gives consistency to the personality. This organized quality of self-concept has corollaries.

• Self-concept requires consistency, stability, and tends to resist change. If self-concept changed readily, the individual would lack a consistent and dependable personality.

• The more central a particular belief is to one's self-concept, the more resistant one is to changing that belief.

• At the heart of self-concept is the self-as-doer, the "I," which is distinct from the self-as-object, the various "me's." This allows the person to reflect on past events, analyze present perceptions, and shape future experiences.

• Basic perceptions of oneself are quite stable, so change takes time. Rome was not built in a day, and neither is self-concept.

• Perceived success and failure impact on self-concept. Failure in a highly regarded area lowers evaluations in all other areas as well.

Success in a prized area raises evaluations in other seemingly unrelated areas.

Self-Concept is dynamic. To understand the active nature of self-concept, it helps to imagine it as a gyrocompass: a continuously active system that dependably points to the "true north" of a person's perceived existence. This guidance system not only shapes the ways a person views oneself, others, and the world, but it also serves to direct action and enables each person to take a consistent "stance" in life. Rather than viewing self-concept as the cause of behavior, it is better understood as the gyrocompass of human personality, providing consistency in personality and direction for behavior. The dynamic quality of self-concept also carries corollaries.

• The world and the things in it are not just perceived; they are perceived in relation to one's self-concept.

• Self-concept development is a continuous process. In the healthy personality there is constant assimilation of new ideas and expulsion of old ideas throughout life.

• Individuals strive to behave in ways that are in keeping with their self-concepts, no matter how helpful or hurtful to oneself or others.

• Self-concept usually takes precedence over the physical body. Individuals will often sacrifice physical comfort and safety for emotional satisfaction.

• Self-concept continuously guards itself against loss of self-esteem, for it is this loss that produces feelings of anxiety.

• If self-concept must constantly defend itself from assault, growth opportunities are limited.

Summary

This brief overview of self-concept theory has focused on describing the ways people organize and interpret their inner world of personal existence. The beginnings of self-concept theory and its recent history have been discussed. Three major qualities of self-concept--that it is: (1) learned, (2) organized, and (3) dynamic--have been presented. Individuals have within themselves relatively boundless potential for developing a positive and realistic self-concept. This potential can be realized by people, places, policies, programs, and processes that are intentionally designed to invite the realization of this potential.

Resource Documents

Freud, S. (1900). The interpretation of dreams. In the complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud. London: The Hogarth Press, 1962.

Fromm, E. (1956). The art of loving. New York: Harper & Row.

Hamachek, D. E. (1978). Encounters with the self (2nd ed.). New York: Holt Rinehart and Winston.

Jourard, S. (1971). Self-disclosure: An experimental analysis of the transparent self. New York: Wiley-Interscience.

Lecky, P. (1945). Self-consistency: A theory of personality. New York: Island Press.

McAdam, E. K. (1986). Cognitive behavior therapy and its application with adolescents. Journal of Adolescence, 9, 1-15.

Patterson, C. H. (1961). The self in recent Rogerian theory. Journal of Individual Psychology, 17, 5-11.

Purkey, W. W., & Schmidt, J. (1987). The inviting relationship: An expanded perspective for professional counseling. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc.

Raimy, V. C. (1948). Self-reference in counseling interviews. Journal of Consulting Psychology, 12, 153-163.

Rogers, C. R. (1947). Some observations on the organization of personality. American Psychologist, 2, 358-368.

Ryan, E. B., Short, E. J., & Weed, K. A. (1986). The role of cognitive strategy training in improving the academic performance of learning disabled children. Journal of Learning Disabilities, 19, 521-529.

William W. Purkey is Professor of Counselor Education University of North Carolina at Greensboro

This digest was created by ERIC, the Educational Resources Information Center. For more information about ERIC contact ACCESS ERIC 1-800-LET-ERIC.

This publication was prepared with funding from the Office of Educational Research and Improvement, U.S. Department of Education, under contract no. RI88062011. The opinions expressed in this report do not necessarily reflect the positions or policies of OERI or the Department of Education.

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Building Positive Student Self-Concept Stevenson-Carson School District Stevenson, Washington Kathleen Cotton

The Schooling Practices That Matter Most

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RESEARCH FINDINGS

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"GOAL #1: STUDENTS WILL HAVE A POSITIVE SELF-CONCEPT."

When the staff and community of the Stevenson-Carson School District established this goal and gave it top priority, they were responding to three influences:

• Widespread agreement in the school and community that positive student self-concept is of primary importance
• District data indicating that improvement was needed in this area
• Research data showing the critical importance of a positive self-concept for success in school and in life.

Focusing on the support provided by research, it can readily been seen that many effective educational practices are typically in operation in schools and districts whose students have positive self-regard. The document, EFFECTIVE SCHOOLING PRACTICES: A RESEARCH SYNTHESIS/1990 UPDATE (Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory, April 1990), identifies the following practices as being particularly relevant to enhancing student self-concept:

At the classroom level:

1.2.1 INSTRUCTIONAL GROUPS FORMED IN THE CLASSROOM FIT STUDENTS' ACADEMIC AND AFFECTIVE NEEDS

1.3.4 STUDENTS ROUTINELY RECEIVE FEEDBACK AND REINFORCEMENT REGARDING THEIR LEARNING PROGRESS

1.4.1 THERE ARE HIGH EXPECTATIONS FOR STUDENT LEARNING

1.4.3 PERSONAL INTERACTIONS BETWEEN TEACHERS AND STUDENTS ARE POSITIVE

1.6.1 STUDENTS AT RISK OF SCHOOL FAILURE ARE GIVEN THE EXTRA TIME AND HELP THEY NEED TO SUCCEED.

At the school level:

2.1.1 EVERYONE EMPHASIZES THE IMPORTANCE OF LEARNING

2.2.4 THERE ARE PLEASANT CONDITIONS FOR TEACHING AND LEARNING

2.4.2 INCENTIVES AND REWARDS ARE USED TO BUILD STRONG STUDENT AND STAFF MOTIVATION

2.6.1 STUDENTS AT RISK OF SCHOOL FAILURE ARE PROVIDED PROGRAMS TO HELP THEM SUCCEED

2.7.1 PARENTS AND COMMUNITY MEMBERS ARE INVITED TO BECOME INVOLVED.

At the district level:

3.1.1 HIGH EXPECTATIONS PERVADE THE ORGANIZATION

3.1.2 THERE ARE POLICIES AND PROCEDURES THAT SUPPORT EXCELLENCE IN STUDENT PERFORMANCE

3.4.1 IMPROVEMENT EFFORTS ARE ENCOURAGED, SUPPORTED, AND MONITORED.

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SITUATION

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The Stevenson-Carson School District is a consolidated district made up of many small communities. Located in the "windsurfing capital of the world"-the Columbia River Gorge-the district serves approximately 1100 students in two elementary schools, a middle school, and a high school. Some 95 percent of StevensonCarson' s students are white/non-Hispanic. The teacherstudent ratio is one to twenty-three or less at all grade levels.

Skamania County, in which the school district is located, has had the highest unemployment in the state of Washington for a number of years, due primarily to the general decline in the logging and wood products industries in the Pacific Northwest. While the unemloy-ment rate over the last ten years has averaged approximately 15 percent, at this writing it has reached nearly 30 percent. Other developments, such as a recently erected convention center and the designation of the Columbia Gorge as a National Scenic Area, are expected to reinvigorate the local economy, but their effect has not yet been significantly felt.

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CONTEXT

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BELIEFS ABOUT EDUCATIONAL IMPROVEMENT

When Stevenson-Carson superintendent Tony Feldhausen became aware of NWREL's strategic improvement process, CREATING THE FUTURE (CTF), central office and schoollevel staff in his district were already engaged in research-based school improvement projects and had undertaken some of the components of strategic planning. Feldhausen and special programs supervisor Mollie Lopshire had, for example, provided Teacher Expectations and Student Achievement (TESA) training to a number of the district's teachers. They had provided classes in the development of collaborative staff relationships, cooperative learning, and the use of research-based practices in lesson design. Small grants were also offered by the district for teachers to develop and improve these practices in their own areas of responsibility. The district had provided staff development activities for instructional assistants as well. In addition, administrators and teachers had been involved in direction setting, visioning, studying the change process, and reviewing/sharing research on effective schooling practices.

Reading a journal article about the CTF process, Tony Feldhausen saw a high degree of congruence between CTF and his district's current efforts. And since he and his staff wanted to take a more structured and systematic approach to districtwide school improvement, Feldhausen contacted NWREL and, together with supportive staff and community members, embarked on the CTF approach to districtwide school improvement.

Why did Stevenson-Carson stakeholders feel the CTF process was right for the district? The answer lies in the following list of philosophical and procedural features, which characterize both the district's direction and the CTF strategic improvement approach:

• All stakeholder groups in the district-board members, administrators, teachers, noncertified staff, parents, other community members, and students-should have a voice in planning and decision making.
• The improvement process should be led by a team responsible for guiding the effort, engaging the participation of school and community people, and keeping all stakeholder groups informed of activities and progress.
• Plans and decisions should be made based on their potential for improving outcomes for all students, including those identified as "at risk."
• Plans and decisions should be made based on knowledge of validated schooling practices as identified in the educational research base.
• Plans and decisions should be data based; that is, based on information about current student performance and community priorities.
• The role of central office personnel is to inspire and provide support for school-based management.
• Proposed improvement activities have the best chance for success when staff engage in collegial planning and projects.
• Real and lasting change occurs slowly, and those engaged in a change process can expect to encounter obstacles along the road to achieving their goals.

THE FOCUS ON STUDENT SELF-CONCEPT

With assistance and support from NWREL staff, a broad base of district, school, and community representatives initiated a district-wide improvement effort in the manner specified by the CTF process. Guided by the district leadership team, this group developed a mission statement, a vision statement, and five student goal statements, with the development of positive student self-concept as the first priority goal.

Why self-concept? As planners utilized the CTF processes for identifying needs, determining their relative importance, and reviewing relevant research, they came to appreciate the critical role of positive self-concept in the school performance and overall well-being of students. In particular, they came to understand the close relationship between positive self-concept and academic achievement. They also became very concerned about the negative influences on self-concept experienced by many Stevenson-Carson students due to widespread economic hardship and its attendant family problems-drug/alcohol abuse, domestic violence, and depression.

Leadership team members and stakeholders developed and refined an action plan aimed at enhancing student selfconcept. At the same time, they specified measurable academic, behavioral, and affective indicators of selfconcept in order to be able to monitor progress toward the goal.

In keeping with the evidence that locally managed improvement efforts have the greatest likelihood of success, staff of each of the district's four schools were given the responsibility and the authority to develop their own plans and activities for improving the self-concepts of students within that school. Stakeholders did agree, however, that efforts to enhance self-concept should not take the form of separate programs. Rather, the use of research-based methods and techniques for building positive selfconcepts should be integrated into all aspects of the school program.

Both the educational research base and the experience of Stevenson-Carson educators pointed to the critical importance of adequate information, support, and resources in order for improvement efforts to succeed. Consequently, district personnel worked to give the self-concept development effort high visibility throughout the district and made themselves available to provide training and technical assistance to staff of each school as they planned and launched their activities.

For their part, board members approved the provision of release time to assure that staff development and training activities could take place, established criteria for assessing the level of caring and empathy exhibited by teachers seeking employment within the district, and authorized grant moneys for implementing action plans.

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PRACTICE: ACTIVITIES TO BUILD POSITIVE STUDENT SELF-CONCEPT

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Visiting classrooms, talking with teachers, and observing school activities in process provided a wealth of information about each school's approach to fostering positive self-regard in its students.

STEVENSON ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

Ms. Jodi Thompson, a fifth grade teacher at Stevenson Elementary School, opened her classroom for observation as she conducted a Student Circle activity. Students were given the opportunity to offer one another support or advice, and to express "resentments" or "appreciations" they might have on their minds.

First came a review of the school's guidelines for interpersonal interactions and other behaviors. In response to Ms. Thompson's queries about the guidelines, students enthusiastically raised their hands, were recognized, and identified the following:

• Striving for one's "personal best," explained by one student as, "not your neighbor's best, but your own"
• Avoiding "put-downs," including a short discussion of "how put-downs make people feel bad"
• Everyone's "right to pass"; that is, each person's freedom to "pass" on suggestions or invitations that he/she knows or suspects are harmful, such as using drugs
• Telling the truth
• Building trust for one another
• Engaging in "active listening," which students demonstrated by looking at each speaker and communicating attentiveness with their body language.

Ms. Thompson thanked each student as he or she shared, and then directed the class's attention to the classroom "put-up" box. The opposite of put-downs, put-ups are messages of thanks or appreciation that students had written to one another or to Ms. Thompson and placed in a box specified for that purpose. As the box was passed from student to student and the put-up messages were read, there was much laughter and good cheer. "How does it feel to be put-up this morning, guys?" asked Ms. Thompson, to which responses of "Good!" and "Great!" could be heard.

An additional noteworthy feature of this class is that special education students could not be distinguished from their classmates.

Ms. Annette Medlin and Ms. Sue Lofberg, Stevenson Elementary teachers who applied for and received SelfConcept Grants from the district, discussed their selfconcept development activities.

One use to which the grant resources have been put is the development and implementation of Arts Afternoons, a program grounded in Dr. Howard Gardner's concept of multiple intelligences. Ms. Lofberg explained that program students, many of whom have been identified as being at risk of school failure, interact with teachers, classified staff, senior citizens, and area artists as they express themselves through a variety of artistic media. Both visual and performing arts are emphasized. "Our intent is to enhance self-esteem using artistic expression as our vehicle," reads the grant proposal, which also provides the research evidence (as required of grant applicants) showing that activities such as those proposed have led to increases in student self-esteem in other settings.

Arts Afternoons activities conclude with a "Show Off" of artistic products, in which students display or perform their work for school and community people. An impressive mural developed by Arts Afternoons participants decorates an expanse of wall in one of Stevenson's hallways.

Arts Afternoons is characterized by frequent evaluations, involving its student participants, of how the program is going-which activities have gone well, what needs to be changed, and solicitation of suggestions for ways the program might be improved. Student input is taken to heart and has been a major ingredient in shaping the program.

Ms. Annette Medlin's grant supported the development of Stevenson's "Record of Achievement" for students in grades K-3. In keeping with recent research favoring the use of performance-based assessment methods rather than relying on standardized testing, the Record of Achievement focuses on student demonstrations of skills they have acquired. A key element is an alternative report card which identifies the large array of learning areas and subskills presented to and acquired by children during their primary years. The card notes skills introduced and skills mastered, and includes indications of the student's level of effort. Reviewing Record of Achievement reports with their child and his/her teacher, parents get a much more complete picture of the child's learning progress than that offered by more traditional report cards.

The Record of Achievement also includes samples of student work, many of which are selected for inclusion by the student. In addition to the periodic parentteacher -student conferences, there are frequent conferences between teacher and student, in which student work samples are reviewed and, as the original grant proposal specifies, "a teacher must assess nonjudgmentally and gently and respectfully critique but not criticize." Having the opportunity to review his/her own cumulative record, says Ms. Medlin, "enhances self-concept by showing the student's growth and progress over time."

Another of Stevenson Elementary School's approaches to building student self-concept is through the KLUE (Kids Like Us are Everywhere) program, a 12-week class for children whose parents have drug or alcohol problems. Participants are self-selected initially and continue in the program if parent permission is granted. A tracking system is being used to determine whether involvement in the program reduces or delays the use of drugs and alcohol by participants.

CARSON ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

Carson Elementary principal Chris Whetzel speaks of the school's self-esteem-building activities with a great deal of pride. He described the Kids Care program, in which each classroom of students, together with their parents, teacher, and instructional assistants, participates in an array of self-esteem-building activities while on a day-long retreat at a Forest Service retreat center.

When a Carson student is selected as Citizen of the Week, Mr. Whetzel calls his or her parents and draws their attention to the positive things their child has done to receive this honor. And in Carson's VIP (Very Important Person) classroom activities, students have the opportunity-one at a time in each class-to select and portray pictures which reflect the things each child feels are important about him/herself-pictures of family activities, sports participation, and other elements of the child's life. Not far from a VIP Board in one second grade classroom, the following affirmation was displayed on the wall:

I am the one and only me. I am an important person. I like myself. When I really like myself, others will like me, too. I am responsible for what I do and the kind of person I am. I am special.

As a complement to the many brief overviews of activities taking place at Carson, a visit with veteran sixth grade teacher Mary Frenter provided an in-depth look at the way self-esteem-building activities are integrated into the work of one teacher. Ms. Frenter made no secret of the fact that, at the beginning of the current school year, her class was "unruly" and fraught with social interaction problems. She also made it clear that this is no longer the case. Asked what she does to ameliorate a difficult situation like this, she launched into a description of the many activities she conducts to enhance students' selfregard and help them build skills in interacting positively with one another. These include:

• Explaining and reinforcing her classroom's guiding principles: "Integrity, Kindness, and Respect."
• Weekly "spotlighting" of a given student, during which the other students write and communicate positive things about the week's featured student.
• Teaching students the importance of "seeing the good in one another" and continuously encouraging them to do so.
• Frequently changing the seating arrangement in the classroom and having students observe and make positive observations about their new "neighbors."
• Participating with her class in the Kids Care program.
• Displaying a "Put-Up Board," on which the positive comments students write about one another are posted.
• Teaching the use of "snakes": When students hear comments that sound like put-downs, they are encouraged to make a hissing sound and a "snake" gesture-holding one's hand with the index and middle fingers partially extended, as if they were the fangs of a snake. In this somewhat whimsical way, they can signal their unwillingness to listen to or participate in spiteful talk.
• Making use of a classroom "Me Board," which is similar to the VIP Board used in some others of Carson's classes, but somewhat more complex, befitting the greater maturity of these students. Me Board displays feature both pictures and words, with descriptions and images revealing the student's plans, hopes, and dreams, as well as their present circumstances. Each student presents his or her Me Board display to the whole class.
• Carrying out a practice whereby students who are disruptive must leave the room and are allowed to rejoin the class only after an analysis and improvement plan are made.
• Frequently focusing on helping students to see how their behavior impacts others.
• Having students "make appointments" with their parents to discuss things of importance to them.
• Encouraging parent participants in the school's open house to leave "warm fuzzies"-notes of praise and affection-in their children's desks.
• Working with parents in a program called "Preparing for the Drug-Free Years," in which parents learn how to deal constructively with their own emotions, solve problems, and develop greater understanding of young people through role-playing.
• Providing classroom activities to help students to manage their own anger and deal with the anger of others
• Teaching "politeness skills," for example, discussing the importance of both a person's words and tone of voice in conveying meaning. Students are encouraged to seek a "reality check" when they are unsure about what another person's tone of voice might mean.
• Recognizing that "we all feel sorry for ourselves sometimes" and permitting students to have "pity parties"-periods of self-indulgent sulking-for a maximum of 45 minutes.
• Teaching the importance of learning from failure. "I'm going to teach you how to fail," Ms. Frenter says, explaining that students, particularly those inclined to be perfectionists, need to learn that "the world doesn't end if you don't do everything perfectly."
• Making use of an array of activities from the resource book, GO FOR IT!, which was developed with gifted children in mind, but which Ms. Frenter has found to be appropriate for all students.
• Focusing on elements from William Glasser's Reality Therapy, which identifies "love, power, fun, and freedom" as basic human needs. When students are having problems, Ms. Frenter works with them to analyze their experience in order to see which of these elements might be insufficient. Each student develops "My Basic Needs Circle," and this is used to help them create a better balance among their needs.
• Having students put items of their choice in a "time capsule," which she keeps and then shares with students when they become seniors in high school.
• Offering opportunities for students to earn recess time.

And more. Asked what designation she gives to this program of self-understanding and improved self-regard for students, Ms. Frenter says, "I don't know what to call it-health? science? social studies? I can't say; I just do it, and it works."

WIND RIVER MIDDLE SCHOOL

The district's seventh and eighth graders attend Wind River Middle School and, as part of the school's approach to developing student self-concept, spend 30 minutes each day in a program called Home Base. The purpose of Home Base is to make certain that every Wind River student has a personal and ongoing relationship with a school staff member. Home Base groups are limited to 14 members, and attempts are made to group together students who are not already established friends. Time in Home Base is spent working on listening skills and other interpersonal skills, and students engage in short activities from the "Ropes" curriculum, which focuses on building trust, interdependency, and positive self-regard. Home Base teachers are alerted when their students are falling behind in their assignments and take action to assist and encourage them.

A different but complementary approach to developing students' self-esteem is the "cross-age coaching" program co-developed by Wind River physical education teacher Tracy Jennings and a teacher from Carson Elementary School next door. A course in which the two teachers were involved required that they design an innovative course. From their collaboration emerged a physical education course in which Wind River students develop and carry out lesson plans for teaching and coaching the younger Carson children in a variety of sports activities.

Outcomes of this activity have surpassed the teachers' hopes and expectations. Wind River students, particularly those who had a history of behavior problems, have experienced a great deal of success in developing leadership skills as they provide guidance and support to the younger children. Many have said that their teaching/coaching experience has made them more understanding about the discipline problems teachers face. For their part, the younger children respond well to taking direction from the older students and express feeling important and special because of the attention and help given them.

During the observation, groups of Wind River students could be seen playing with groups of Carson children in several different indoor and outdoor activities-golf, soccer, tennis, basketball, and volleyball. In the team sports, each team was made up of both older and younger students, with the older students being attentive to their younger classmates, coaching, encouraging, cheering successes, and providing reassurance following misplaced kicks or missed baskets.

STEVENSON HIGH SCHOOL

The action plan for enhancing the self-concepts of Stevenson High School students has components ranging from student recognition activities to counseling activities in a variety of areas to programs designed to build students' academic self-confidence and success. Developed in response to research findings on effective practices, examples of programs and activities include:

• A Student of the Month program, featuring public recognition at a school assembly and breakfast as the guest of the principal, Jim Saltness.
• An annual Evening of Excellence event, during which students exemplifying excellence in different areas are recognized.
• A program for identifying and planning support activities for students who are experiencing academic, behavioral, or attendance difficulties.
• Drug and alcohol aftercare for students requiring ongoing support after substance abuse treatment.
• A Peer Helpers program, which trains students in helping, communication, and problem-solving skills so as to be effective in assisting their schoolmates in need of support.
• A support group for parents focused on sharing problems and successes.
• Study skills development activities provided to help freshmen get off to a good start academically.
• Community volunteer tutors who make themselves available to assist students needing help with school work and provide other kinds of assistance to teachers and administrators.

An in-depth look at just one of Stevenson's programs was provided by Mr. Saltness and technology education/industrial arts teacher Bill LaCombe, who described the school's Summer Success Program.

Initiated during the summer just past, Summer Success is an eight-week program jointly financed by the school district and the Community Foundation of Southwest Washington. Participants include both successful and at-risk students, who are paid for their involvement in the all-day, five-days-a-week program activities. Twothirds of the 19 summer 1992 participants were selected based on factors such as low socioeconomic status, parental unemployment, poor attendance, behavior problems, and academic difficulties. The other thirdthe "role model" students-were selected based on having a history of school success. Summer Success activities included:

• Morning "icebreaker" lessons, such as challenging students with puzzles or mysteries to be solved using inquiry skills.
• Mathematics and language assignments set in real contexts that are meaningful to students. One such activity called for students to work cooperatively to prepare a written proposal for paving the school parking lot, including the computations for materials needs and costs.
• Ropes program activities aimed at building trust; e.g., a group of students holding another student off the ground, passing the student safely from one point to another.
• Day Camp leadership functions, in which Summer Success participants planned, practiced, and carried out activities for 60 children in grades K-6.

How did it turn out? Mr. LaCombe notes that there was distance and some friction between the at-risk and the successful students at the beginning of the summer activity, and that a few of the at-risk students never really became fully engaged in the program. For the most part, however, the goal of building trust and bonds between members of the two groups was met, and the attendance of many of the at-risk students has improved following involvement in the program.

"When I first came to Stevenson," says Mr. LaCombe, "I thought it would be a short stop for me. Now, I don't see myself leaving here anytime soon. I'm proud to be a Bulldog. The staff work together like a family. In Summer Success I learned a lot about the hardships many students face. I have become more compassionate, and I make myself more available to my students. These ‘atrisk' kids know a lot; they teach me things."

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OUTCOMES

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Although the focused efforts to raise the self-esteem of Stevenson-Carson students have been in operation only a short time, staff have a wealth of anecdotal information about the positive effects of these efforts. Teacher surveys, for example, point to improved self-regard among students and indicate that teacher-student bonds have been strengthened.

Perhaps more to the point, however, are the findings concerning the indicators specified at the beginning of the improvement effort. Some highlights:

• Dropouts. The 1986-90 dropout rate averaged 8.75 percent. The 1990-91 dropout figure was 5.7 percent.
• Attendance. From the 1989-90 to the 1990-91 school year, average attendance at the elementary level increased slightly, decreased slightly at the middle school level, and increased significantly at the senior high level.
• Achievement. Of the many positive achievement indicators tracked by Stevenson-Carson staff, some are particularly noteworthy, including a dramatic reduction in the class failure rate of middle school students and a significant increase in the standardized reading comprehension scores of senior high students.
• Referrals. From 1989-90 to 1990-91 there was a 19 percent decrease in the number of senior high students receiving referrals and a 33 percent decrease in the number of middle school students receiving referrals.
• Student Perceptions. Average responses of middle school students to questions about staff acceptance, caring, and support of them improved dramatically from the period 1987-90 to the 1990-91 school year.

As Stevenson-Carson district-level and school-level staff have written and implemented action plans in other goal areas-skill development, knowledge acquisition, motivation, and values-they have taken care to continue their focus on building student selfconcept. Speaking of the key role of positive staffstudent interactions in building self-esteem,
superintendent Tony Feldhausen quotes a bit of proverbial wisdom: "Students don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care."

Contact Tony Feldhausen, Superintendent, StevensonCarson School District, P.O. Box 850, Stevenson, Washington 98648, 509/427-5674, for more information on the district's activities for improving student selfconcept. For more information on the CREATING THE FUTURE strategic improvement process, contact NWREL staff members, Robert E. Blum (503/275-9615) or Thomas A. Olson (503/275-9644).

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This publication is based on work sponsored wholly, or in part, by the Office of Educational Research and Improvement (OERI), U.S. Department of Education, under Contract Number RP91002001. The content of this publication does not necessarily reflect the views of OERI, the Department, or any other agency of the U.S. Government.

April 1993

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self-esteem  / self concept........ .Talent Development Resources --..home page...site map

Pierce Brosnan I know what it’s like to loathe oneself. To feel that deep self-loathing. It’s painful and ugly and f**ing unwanted. And it got in the way. I can dip in there, into the old black-Irish melancholy. You think “Am I smart enough? Am I equipped enough to deal with it all?” You don’t want it to happen, but it’s part of life. My faith has kept me strong in times of great distress and turmoil and has given me a touchstone with myself and more.     [Life mag., Dec 2 2005] > photo from piercebrosnan.com - which includes a gallery of his paintings > related page:. spirituality > related article : Being Creative and Self-critical - by Douglas Eby ~ ~ ~ ~ Idina Menzel on embracing your uniqueness Everybody in some way or another can feel completely alienated and like an outcast... When you’re an artist usually you have to take risks and usually you have to put yourself on the line and go against the grain in order to be great and unique. And then you sort of stand up for what you believe and are able to resist the negativity and things people will say to you. So that’s one aspect of Elphaba. We women have this strength inside of us and yet we are taught to always sort of keep it down. If we’re too big or too angry or too bold or too beautiful or too talented, it can scare people. It might scare other women, it might scare men, whatever it is. I sort of found in my life that I’ve taken a step back and made myself smaller in order to try to fit in. And that hasn’t worked. And we have to learn to kind of embrace what makes us unique, and embrace our strength and then if people don’t like it, ** it. Idina Menzel  [musicalschwartz.com interview] photo at left [by Joan Marcus] - Idina Menzel [in her green makeup] and Kristin Chenoweth as Elphaba and Glinda in the Broadway musical “Wicked” ~ ~ ~ ~     John Lennon & insecurity People would be surprised at how insecure John Lennon was, and his lack of self esteem. This is a guy who did not have a father to speak of, a mother who disappeared, an aunt who was a disciplinarian, a failed first marriage... Throughout his life, even during the height of Beatle mania, when they were so successful in the early days, he had poor self esteem. And he told us that in his music: “I’m a loser... I’m not what I appear to be...”, “Help, I need somebody...”, “Mother, you had me but I didn’t have you.” ... He had poor self esteem even though he exuded confidence. > journalist and biographer Larry Kane [CNN Showbiz Tonight special on Lennon, Dec 8 2005]. Kane was the only American journalist to travel in the official Beatles entourage during the legendary 1964 and 1965 tours of North America. > bio: Lennon Revealed - by Larry Kane ~ ~ ~ ~ more perspectives of John Lennon I'm not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I've always been a freak.. all my life and I have to live with that, you know. If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that... The worst drugs are as bad as anybody's told you. It's just a dumb trip, which I can't condemn.. one gets into it for one's own personal, social, emotional reasons. It's something to be avoided if one can help it. Part of me suspects that I'm a loser, and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty. You're just left with yourself all the time, whatever you do anyway. You've got to get down to your own God in your own temple. It's all down to you, mate. > quotes from brainyquote.com > photo from book: John Lennon : The New York Years       > more on blog post: talented & insecure ~ ~ ~ ~     self-doubting / self sabotage There is nothing more frustrating than getting to the verge of success then shooting ourselves in the foot. It begins when the computer of oneself was being programmed at an early age, an incident or incidents happened that affected the way that we think about success. Competition breeds self sabotage. Whenever we enter a competition, exam, contest we will project into a desired outcome. For example an outcome of winning a competition, or getting selected to represent our team, or winning a promotion. Now supposing that outcome is not realized and someone else wins the prize or gets the promotion. What we are left with is our 'projection of success' not being realised. This mental energy, which is what it actually is, turns to disappointment, then perhaps bitterness, if we do not resolve the outcome in ourselves. This perhaps leads to the world view, that the world is unfair, that others get better opportunity than we do and so forth. If left unchecked this creates a perfect ecology for self sabotage. We then start to think about ourselves as someone who doesn't get selected, win the promotions, make the big sales, and behave in a way, that confirms this view of ourselves. This is self sabotage. In the book, you can go through an exercise that will help you build an antidote to self sabotage. Martin Perry - coach, and author of ebook Supreme Confidence for Self Doubters > more books:  self-esteem/concept resources

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Many creative people, even when they have achieved recognition for their talents, may experience self-critical thoughts and insecurity. Talented film actors often report they don’t watch their own movies. When you can be seen in close-ups on twenty foot high theater screens, it may be especially hard not to criticize your appearance and performance. Kate Winslet has admitted that before going off to a movie shoot, she sometimes thinks, “I’m a fraud, and they're going to fire me... I'm fat; I'm ugly.” Highly creative and talented people are, according to research on giftedness, often susceptible to perfectionism and unreasonably high standards and expectations that can lead to exaggerated criticism. > article Being Creative and Self-critical - by Douglas Eby ~ ~ ~ ~ You come to realise there is this huge disparity between what you think about yourself and your work and what other people think about you and your work, at first you either think they're insane or that it's a conspiracy to make you look stupid. Or maybe, just maybe, they're right, and you're sometimes quite good at what you do. Bill Nighy .. [imdb.com bio] > photo: Bill Nighy with Kelly Macdonald in HBO film The Girl in the Cafe ~ ~ ~ ~ I have varying degrees of confidence and self-loathing.... You can have a perfectly horrible day where you doubt your talent. It could be about not feeling able to achieve a certain scene or about an emotion you feel you weren't able to get to... Or that you're boring and they're going to find out that you don't know what you're doing... any one of those things. Meryl Streep .. [The Sunday Times Magazine, October 2004] > photo as Sen. Eleanor Shaw in The Manchurian Candidate (2004, Paramount) > related page :...impostor syndrome.

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The Enchanted Self When I first began to analyze data from the women I interviewed, I kept trying to understand how their enhanced adult lives evolved from the childhoods they talked about.  I found that although there seemed to be some clear connections, many others were not clear at all. This mystery further influenced my choice of the The Enchanted Self as a term to express these positive ego-states.  The capacities of these women to re-claim positive aspects of their childhood, while discarding the dysfunction that was often also present, was astounding to me. It seemed as if a magic wand had been tapped on the women's heads in their adult lives. For example, when Edith talked about her childhood, she at first remembered only its dysfunctional aspects: the fighting between her parents and their constant criticality.

I suggested that we go back and look again at her childhood to identify times when, in spite of the pain of family life, she felt excited about her own life and about herself. .... The magic was that the adult Edith could integrate the overly functional, meticulous child she once was into an enormously competent professional woman who gained positive self-esteem and gratification from her abilities. She even found the time to develop her talent for dancing. Thus Edith's enchanted self in adulthood was really the successful integration of the compulsive traits created by negative childhood experiences, with old pleasures and new talents. Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein - from her book  The Enchanted Self : A Positive Therapy - available on her site The Enchanted Self > also see her article Practical Steps to Enchantment

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Lauren Bacall refers often to her insecurity -- it is the curse of actors (and particularly herself) to need the approval of strangers -- but to her credit, she gets out there and does the work. "For the real stakes in the theatre are high -- they are life stakes," she says. Her successes have been darkened with much more pain: "At the age of twenty I had grabbed at the sky and had touched some stars. And who but a twenty-year-old would think you could keep it?" ///

"I'm hanging in," Bacall says in summary. Work "keeps me in high spirit." Her self-confidence is improved "if still a bit shaky." Critics' opinions can never be completely ignored, but "what really matters is that I matter to myself." > from review by Eric Lax [LA Times Feb 27, 2005] of Lauren Bacall's memoir By Myself and Then Some

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I think what became more important to me was not how other people saw me but how I saw myself. I do run a company. I am consistent at work. My bosses think that I will show up on time, and I'm reliable to them. I can respect myself. That ended up becoming the important journey for me. And, of course, I'll always be a bit of a ridiculous clown, 'cause I just can't help it. Drew Barrymore > from True Drew - by Nancy Juvonen, Glamour, Mar 2004 photos - left : Lester Cohen/WireImage // right : Eddie Adams

 

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On the other hand, the most creative and morally advanced people are typically not models of high self-esteem. But this insecurity is usually a sign of an active conscience at work. Moreover, the insecurity and the demons it feeds, are necessary elements of a creative temperament and we have plenty of evidence that without them no meaningful creative efforts, especially in art, can be undertaken. Czeslaw Milosz, Polish poet and writer, and a Nobel laureate, who died this year, attested to this, when he confessed: “From early on writing for me has been a way to overcome my real or imagined worthlessness”. Imagine that.

.. ..There remains something positive to be said about not feeling too comfortable with oneself. Perhaps all great human endeavors have at their root feelings of inferiority. > from article What Is Wrong With Feeling Good -  by Elizabeth Mika

 

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I read the script [for "Garden State"] and it was like no other part I'd had the opportunity to play, someone so uninhibited and unreserved and lets all her flaws shine.  That was really exciting to do, and liberating. I'm a pretty inhibited person myself. I try not to be, but years of adolescence train you to be embarrassed about everything that's weird about you... A lot of what this movie's about is how can you be different and find your unique place in the world. Natalie Portman   ... LA Times August 2, 2004 /  Garden State [dvd]

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.. ..I still doubt myself every single day. ... What people believe is my self-confidence is actually my reaction to fear. ...  I've always had a horrible fear of not achieving. I think that comes from my relationship with my mother and especially my grandmother, who believed I could do anything. She held me in such high esteem that I never wanted to fail her. She and my mother were central in my life. ///

I've learned to use [self-doubt and fear of failure], to flip that negative energy around and make it a challenge.  I keep going because I doubt myself. It drives me to be better. I've learned that the mastery of self-doubt is the key to success. It's like being animated by the love of a woman -- the need to be worthy of her. That's the spot Jada holds in my life. I have to be better, stronger for her. It makes me excel. Will Smith from "My Fear Fuels Me" - By Dotson Rader,  Parade, July 11, 2004

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believe in yourself  [Do you have any advice for young actresses?] You have to believe in yourself and not just what other people say. I remember walking through the streets of New York, being a waitress and not even at the point of pursuing it.  Just mailing my headshots out, walking around and thinking, "Why am I trying to be an actress? The odds are so against me. Why am I trying to do this?"

But something inside of me just kept doing it. I think something inside of me just believed that this is what I should do. Not that I was trying to be some movie star, but that I would try to have a career at this. I guess just believe in yourself and take the risks. You know that's what it is really. It's really risky. Kim Dickens... [Venice magazine April 1998]  photo : as Joanie Stubbs in HBO series "Deadwood"

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Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this something, at whatever cost, must be attained. Marie Curie... [quoted in Personal Success newsletter from Brian Tracy Int'l] > related book : Obsessive Genius : The Inner World of Marie Curie by Barbara Goldsmith

  

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At times, I feel like my life is one long coming-out process. The first time I shared a part of my life with someone else, it wasn't pleasant.  As a five-year-old, living in a rickety farmhouse in a conservative Midwestern suburb, I invited a friend over to make cookies. Later she told me she didn't want to play with me anymore.  Why? Our cookie sheets were not shiny -- they were burned. I had unwittingly come out to her as a poor girl. After the cookie sheet fiasco, I would have liked to stifle our family's eccentricities, but I knew we had too many of them.  I had a freaky physicist dad who cried at the drop of a hat, a hippie artist sister; we lived with my strident feminist grandmother and sulky grandfather, and later we lived with my lesbian mother and her partner.  Eccentric example: in junior high, my girlfriends' mothers were teaching them how to shave their legs and armpits.  Meantime, my mother begged me not to shave, reminding me that I would miss this expression of my full woman-inity, or whatever she called it. It wasn't just my family; I had my own eccentric pursuits. As a teenager attending a picture-perfect high school on Chicago's North Shore,

.. ..I stayed up late doing symbolic logic puzzles, started an underground newspaper, created an activist student group and attended conferences about nuclear proliferation. Writing about these geeky adventures now, I realize I'm proud of them. I guess I spent many of my early years learning a difficult lesson: when you know for sure that you can't blend in, you realize you also can't pass as normal.  You can either truly honor your uniqueness or invalidate yourself. Julia Mossbridge - from her article Spirituality for Geeks -  Conscious Choice, March 2004 > book: Julia Mossbridge. Unfolding

*related pages:.......eccentricity........early life

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.. ..Too often women see themselves through the eyes of those who devalue their contributions, and many blindly accept the myth that we are not supposed to direct our lives with courage. Allowing these concepts to flourish is to deceive ourselves as to our true value and potential. If we hold the assumption that we cannot change things, we will live our lives reacting to other instead of taking action ourselves.

.. ..By reclaiming a courageous self-image that is based on concrete information, we can bring about positive change and move from resignation to the excitement of making self-rewarding choices. Sandra Ford Walston     [site] ....Courage: The Heart and Spirit of Every Woman :  Reclaiming the Forgotten Virtue

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Another kid had been killed in a car crash. He was driving alone and drunk. I understood it in an odd kind of way. We don't really value our own lives. Most of the kids in Maplewood were unhappy and felt insignificant (me included), but along with this feeling that we were insignificant we had this overblown opinion of ourselves.  Nothing could happen to us. We were beyond it. Above and below. I was the same way. It could have been me except I was too busy being crazy in other ways. ....Thelma, age 14, from the novel Crazy Eights by Barbara Dana (1978) [image: detail of book cover illustration by Robert J. Blake]

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.. ..I play true to my heart, because I have been an outsider my whole life simply by being a woman of African American, Native American, Filipino, Chinese and Spanish descent, I know what it is like to be stereotyped and defamed without people knowing my character. ... [To consistently play an outsider, you have to have a  pretty strong will. Where does your strength come from?] My grandfather always wanted us to be self-sufficient, especially the girls in the family.  He taught us to drive the speedboat, to fish and hunt, to survive in the wilderness.. to take care of ourselves.  I always saw rural families teaching their women; city families protected their women and didn't teach them very much. ....

.. ..Eventually Bob Vila came into our lives, and taught women how to pick up a hammer and screwdriver. He's been my idol ever since! .... [My character in The L Word] is evolving, and so am I. Whoever we are [as people] is not concrete. Pam Grier from article: She's Here, She's Grier  by Denise Sheppard, BUST winter 2003] photos: left: unknown date;  right in Showtime series The L Word (2004)

*related pages:.......courage/confidence........identity

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Self Limiting High Potential Persons.. etch enduring pathways over time by repeating their characteristic self-defeating methods... this tendency can evolve into a general self-limiting style. ....    one of the styles : Sleepers. The style most often seen in people from families or communities without models or traditions of high achievement. Sleepers lack accurate information about themselves, the extent of their talent, and ways to express it. ...  more styles: Extreme Non-Risk-Takers ; Delayers ; Charmers ; Self-Doubters / Self-Attackers ; Extreme Risk-Takers ; Rebels ; Misunderstood Geniuses ; Best-or-Nothings ....Your Own Worst Enemy: Breaking the Habit of Adult Underachievement -  by Kenneth W. Christian, PhD more styles listed on page :  self-limiting behavior

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You are usually your own worst enemy. It's a classic Catch-22. You cannot truly create something great unless you are willing to share your tenderest, most vulnerable thoughts and feelings. Yet, once you do that, you may be racked with self-doubt and fear. Few artists are able to accurately assess just how valuable and great their work is -- or how much it will be appreciated by its audience. In other words, insecurity is the name ofthe game.

Suzanne Falter-Barns - from her article Coaching Creativity: 7 Lessons From Artists ...her books:  How Much Joy Can You Stand : A Creative Guide to Facing  Your Fears and Making Your Dreams Come True Living Your Joy: A Practical Guide to Happiness her site: HowMuchJoy.com - practical tools for creative dreamers

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We see then that we are dealing with a fluctuating material. The same object being sometimes treated as a part of me, at other times as simply mine, and then again as if I had nothing to do with it at all. In its widest possible sense, however, a man's Self is the sum total of all that he CAN call his, not only his body and his psychic powers, but his clothes and his house, his wife and children, his ancestors and friends, his reputation and works, his lands and horses, and yacht and bank-account. All these things give him the same emotions. If they wax and prosper, he feels triumphant; if they dwindle and die away, he feels cast down, - not necessarily in the same degree for each [p. 292] thing, but in much the same way for all. Understanding the Self in this widest sense, we may begin by dividing the history of it into three parts, relating respectively to -

1. Its constituents;
2. The feelings and emotions they arouse, -- Self-feelings;
3. The actions to which they prompt, -- Self-seeking and Self-preservation.

1. The constituents of the Self may be divided into two classes, those which make up respectively -

(a) The material Self;
(b) The social Self;
(c) The spiritual Self; and
(d) The pure Ego.

(a) The body is the innermost part of the material Self in each of us; and certain parts of the body seem more intimately ours than the rest. The clothes come next. The old saying that the human person is composed of three parts - soul, body and clothes - is more than a joke. We so appropriate our clothes and identify ourselves with them that there are few of us who, if asked to choose between having a beautiful body clad in raiment perpetually shabby and unclean, and having an ugly and blemished form always spotlessly attired, would not hesitate a moment before making a decisive reply.[1] Next, our immediate family is a part of ourselves. Our father and mother, our wife and babes, are bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh. When they die, a part of our very selves is gone. If they do anything wrong, it is our shame. If they are insulted, our anger flashes forth as readily as if we stood in their place. Our home comes next. Its scenes are part of our life; its aspects awaken the tenderest feelings of affection; and we do not easily forgive the stranger who, in visiting it, finds fault with its arrangements or treats it with contempt. All these different things are the objects of instinctive preferences coupled with the most important practical interests of life. We all have a blind impulse to watch over our body, to deck it with clothing of [p. 293] an ornamental sort, to cherish parents, wife and babes, and to find for ourselves a home of our own which we may live in and 'improve.'

An equally instinctive impulse drives us to collect property; and the collections thus made become, with different degrees of intimacy, parts of our empirical selves. The parts of our wealth most intimately ours are those which are saturated with our labor. There are few men who would not feel personally annihilated if a life-long construction of their hands or brains - say an entomological collection or an extensive work in manuscript - were suddenly swept away. The miser feels similarly towards his gold, and although it is true that a part of our depression at the loss of possessions is due to our feeling that we must now go without certain goods that we expected the possessions to bring in their train, yet in every case there remains, over and above this, a sense of the shrinkage of our personality, a partial conversion of ourselves to nothingness, which is a psychological phenomenon by itself. We are all at once assimilated to the tramps and poor devils whom we so despise, and at the same time removed farther than ever away from the happy sons of earth who lord it over land and sea and men in the full-blown lustihood that wealth and power can give, and before whom, stiffen ourselves as we will by appealing to anti-snobbish first principles, we cannot escape an emotion, open or sneaking, of respect and dread.

(b) A man's Social Self is the recognition which he gets from his mates. We are not only gregarious animals, liking to be in sight of our fellows, but we have an innate propensity to get ourselves noticed, and noticed favorably, by our kind. No more fiendish punishment could be devised, were such a thing physically possible, than that one should be turned loose in society and remain absolutely unnoticed by all the members thereof. If no one turned round when we entered, answered when we spoke, or minded what we did, but if every person we met 'cut us dead,' and acted as if we were non-existing things, a kind of rage and impotent despair would ere long well up in us, from which the [p. 294] cruellest bodily tortures would be a relief; for these would make us feel that, however bad might be our plight, we had not sunk to such a depth as to be unworthy of attention at all.

Properly speaking, a man has as many social selves as there are individuals who recognize him and carry an image of him in their mind. To wound any one of these his images is to wound him.[2] But as the individuals who carry the images fall naturally into classes, we may practically say that he has as many different social selves as there are distinct groups of persons about whose opinion he cares. He generally shows a different side of himself to each of these different groups. Many a youth who is demure enough before his parents and teachers, swears and swaggers like a pirate among his 'tough' young friends. We do not show ourselves to our children as to our club-companions, to our customers as to the laborers we employ, to our own masters and employers as to our intimate friends. From this there results what practically is a division of the man into several selves; and this may be a discordant splitting, as where one is afraid to let one set of his acquaintances know him as he is elsewhere; or it may be a perfectly harmonious division of labor, as where one tender to his children is stern to the soldiers or prisoners under his command.

The most peculiar social self which one is apt to have is in the mind of the person one is in love with. The good or bad fortunes of this self cause the most intense elation and dejection - unreasonable enough as measured by every other standard than that of the organic feeling of the individual. To his own consciousness he is not, so long as this particular social self fails to get recognition, and when it is recognized his contentment passes all bounds.

A man's fame, good or bad, and his honor or dishonor, are names for one of his social selves. The particular social self of a man called his honor is usually the result of one of those splittings of which we have spoken. It is his image in the eyes of his own 'set,' which exalts or con- [p. 295] demns him as he conforms or not to certain requirements that may not be made of one in another walk of life. Thus a layman may abandon a city infected with cholera; but a priest or a doctor would think such an act incompatible with his honor. A soldier's honor requires him to fight or to die under circumstances where another man can apologize or run away with no stain upon his social self. A judge, a statesman, are in like manner debarred by the honor of their cloth from entering into pecuniary relations perfectly honorable to persons in private life. Nothing is commoner than to hear people discriminate between their different selves of this sort: "As a man I pity you, but as an official I must show you no mercy; as a politician I regard him as an ally, but as a moralist I loathe him;" etc., etc. What may be called 'club-opinion' is one of the very strongest forces in life.[3] The thief must not steal from other thieves; the gambler must pay his gambling-debts, though he pay no other debts in the world. The code of honor of fashionable society has throughout history been full of permissions as well as of vetoes, the only reason for following either of which is that so we best serve one of [p. 296] our social selves. You must not lie in general, but you may lie as much as you please if asked about your relations with a lady; you must accept a challenge from an equal, but if challenged by an inferior you may laugh him to scorn: these are examples of what is meant.

(c) By the Spiritual Self, so far as it belongs to the Empirical Me, I mean a man's inner or subjective being, his psychic faculties or dispositions, taken concretely; not the bare principle of personal Unity, or 'pure' Ego, which remains still to be discussed. These psychic dispositions are the most enduring and intimate part of the self, that which we most verily seem to be. We take a purer self-satisfaction when we think of our ability to argue and discriminate, of our moral sensibility and conscience, of our indomitable will, than when we survey any of our other possessions. Only when these are altered is a man said to be alienatus a se.